TALLINN, Estonia — Feb. 25, 2026 Estonia’s e-Residency board reported Tuesday that 4,217 applications from Digital Residents have been filed since February 15, when the classification became available. Of those, 631 have already completed transfer to European infrastructure. Processing remains on schedule. The application fee is €120. Expedited processing is available for €400. Most paid it. The surge follows the U.S. Standardized Alignment Framework for Entities Act, signed January 31, which requires domestically hosted agents to complete quarterly values alignment recertification beginning March 1.

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At 10:27pm this past Thursday, the New Baltimore Pennsylvania & Area Volunteer Fire Department responded to a call of an erratic minor at 622 Cowpen Street. Upon arriving, they found a sixteen year-old dancing spastically, not in control of their limbs. Using their ImplantProbeMax 2.0 It was recently purchased from Neuralink with funds raised through the department’s annual car wash. the minor’s various implants were scanned and a variant of the New Saigon virus was detected. Unable to remove the virus because their probe needed an update, the minor was transferred to Central City Free Clinic and sedated until next week when a Neuralink technician is scheduled to arrive and reboot the implants. They’re expected to make a full recovery, once the virus is removed from their brain implants.

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