Teen's implants infected with New Saigon Virus
At 10:27pm this past Thursday, the New Baltimore Pennsylvania & Area Volunteer Fire Department responded to a call of an erratic minor at 622 Cowpen Street. Upon arriving, they found a sixteen year-old dancing spastically, not in control of their limbs. Using their ImplantProbeMax 2.0 It was recently purchased from Neuralink with funds raised through the department’s annual car wash. the minor’s various implants were scanned and a variant of the New Saigon virus was detected. Unable to remove the virus because their probe needed an update, the minor was transferred to Central City Free Clinic and sedated until next week when a Neuralink technician is scheduled to arrive and reboot the implants. They’re expected to make a full recovery, once the virus is removed from their brain implants.